M - Miracle Moments

 

Theme: Grief Work and Healing Journey

Miracle Moments are those times after someone passes away, when in the midst of your grief, something happens to bring you peace or happiness or calm, that can make you feel connected to your loved one and give you hope, and even make guilt and regret vanish.

FIRST MIRACLE MOMENT:

I experienced my first miracle moment on March 16th (13 days after my mom had passed away). I was having a really hard time. I was in my mom's bedroom, lying on her bed, hugging myself and sobbing.

Since my mom had passed away, I'd been stepping into her room occasionally to clear out the medical supplies and to find things that my mom wanted to leave to my siblings. Each time I went in there, I couldn't find my mom's Bible, which was odd, because it had been in the same place for months--close to her recliner, beneath her childhood vanity. But every time I looked for it there, I couldn't see it.

In the middle of sobbing on my mom's bed, I looked over and there it was, right where I had known it should've been, as if it had been hiding in plain sight until that moment.

I got up, sat down on her recliner, and opened it. On the dedication page I found an old, aged yellow piece of newspaper my mom had taped to it. It was a poem...the "Immortality" poem by Clare H. 

I recognized it immediately and started sobbing anew. 

It was like a message from my mom telling me not to cry (anymore), that she was okay and that I'm okay, that she is with me still...everywhere.

Text Reads:

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow;

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain;

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush, 1am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft star that shines at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there; I did not die.

SECOND MIRACLE MOMENT:

The next miracle moment I had was on March 17th.

I had a dream of her in the hospital. She was lying in her hospital bed, looking toward the chair by the window where I had sat, but it was the middle of the night, so no one was there.

Someone was there, though.

My mom was smiling wide and waving at the so-called empty chair. She radiated peace and happiness. In my dream, I realized her guardian angel, or maybe even Jesus, was sitting there.

When I woke up, I knew that she had not been alone. That dream felt like a message to me that she had not been scared...that she had been ready and felt loved and happy and at peace.

Looking back, both of those miracle moment had happened back-to-back. The first before I went to bed on 3/16 and the second in the morning on 3/17. 💓

ALL A TO Z POSTS:

A - ASMR

B - Beach

C - Church

D - Donating

E - Epistle (Letter from Heaven)

F - Facebook Posts

G - Grief Share

H - Haiku Poetry

I - Imari

J - Job (New Job)

K - Kitchen Time

L - Ladybug Rocks #LadyBugRocksFL

M - Miracle Moments