Being specific is important to help your readers
understand what is going on and what you’re trying to tell them.
You can be more specific by cutting out these phrases at
the beginning of sentences:
·
There was/were (For past tense.)
·
There is/are (For present tense.)
·
It was
Example: There was a loud bang at her front door that
made her jump.
Better: A loud bang at her front door made her jump.
Example: There is nothing better than a cold coke on a
hot summer day.
Better: Nothing is better than a cold coke on a hot
summer day.
To rewrite a sentence that starts with “it,” you need to
figure out what “it” refers to. Whatever that is needs to be replaced by “it.”
Example: “It was a dark and stormy night.”
Better: The night was dark and stormy.
I sometimes start sentences with “it was” if the previous
sentence states what I’m referring to by “it.” But I try not to do this very
often.
SHARE: Your tips for being more specific.
CONTEST: Re-imagine the sentence, “It was a dark and
stormy night.” Put what you come up with in the comment section. I’ll pick my favorite one and share it on next week’s
blog post 11/4. I’ll also award the winner with a PDF copy of one of my eBooks.
(Choice between Hurricane Crimes and 30 Seconds.) CLOSED!
I'm probably not as diligent with 'is,' but I do try to eliminate 'was' whenever possible. Those examples make them even easier to spot.
ReplyDeleteI try to eliminate "was" as much as I can, too. Those examples are the easiest to spot and fix.
DeleteThat's why I have a sign by my desk that says "Stop the WASes."
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I still have a problem with those WASes. lol
DeleteI always have problems writing but your tips are great to remember,
ReplyDelete"Doom and gloom was evident as the hurricane was on it's way".
Oh, that was so good! I love that you changed the storm to a hurricane. :D Thanks for participating!
DeleteI have such a problem with how many times I use "was" in my writing. Luckily there's Ctrl+F to find them all, but figuring out how to rewrite all those sentences can be tricky.
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm gonna try this. *cracks knuckles* "Black clouds drifted across the moon, threatening to burst as a crack of thunder shook the earth."
Figuring out how to rewrite them is tricky. I even struggle with it.
DeleteYou created such a wonderful scene with that sentence! :D
The ink, black sky lit up for mere seconds with flashes of lightening and crashing thunder.
ReplyDeleteFun post, Chrys!
"Ink, black sky" I like that! Thanks for participating, Lisa!
DeleteExcellent advice :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from Shout with Emaginette
Thanks!
DeleteI don't think I use them too often. Ones I had to get rid of were "just" and "seemed"
ReplyDeleteI just seemed to like them lol
"Just" is one that sneaks into my writing a lot, too!
DeleteThis is a really fantastic and yet simple rule! I've always wanted to know how to eliminate those "its" and "theres."
ReplyDeleteMy favorite rule is to cut all "just" and "seems." Also helps a lot with making the writing sound stronger, surer, and more specific.
Yes, I shared a list of word to cut before and "just" and "seems/ed" was on that list.
DeleteAnother big one is saying someone knows, thinks, or feels something. Usually, you don't need that linking verb and can just cut right to the chase.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, Carrie-Anne.
DeleteAs always, great advice, Chrys! When I'm writing I don't think about this stuff but during the editing phase I'm like, "What was I thinking???"
ReplyDeleteI try to pay attention while I'm writing and sometimes I can catch myself, but during editing is when I always see these mistakes.
DeleteGreat tips! I never liked the word it, especially Stephen King's IT, lol!
ReplyDeleteBut I do try to not start my sentences with "it." Sometimes, it's just too darn hard! I also try not to use the word "just" or "that." I think I've gotten a lot better with eliminating "that" from my work.
Okay, here is my version... "A blanket of black cried above our bodies as we watched the tears saturate soulless graves."
I also try to eliminate "just" and "that." Both of those are on my list of Words to Cut from Your Writing.
DeleteOH! Soulless graves...perfect for Halloween! Thanks for participating! :D
Cool challenge. I'm sick so I'm not going to attempt to enter right now, but good luck to those who do.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're not feeling well, Kelly!
DeleteGreat tips, Chrys! I think I'll give it a go...
ReplyDeleteA burst of lightning shot through the dark sky as the thunder crackled, announcing the close proximity of the storm.
That was really good, Kristin. Great atmosphere!
DeleteMy version - Thunder roared over the moonless horizon.
ReplyDeleteThanks for participating, Patsy! I love that one entry used the word "soulless" and yours used the word "moonless." That reminds me of Crystal Collier's books. ;)
DeleteSomehow we are all used to speaking and writing like that. It takes effort to be creative.
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right, Vanessa!
DeleteYou have to train your brain. I'm totally with you. That's what I call aggressive or immerse prose. I'm constantly making suggestions about it while critiquing.
ReplyDeleteUnleashing the Dreamworld
I always make suggestions on "There was" and "It was" when I critique, too.
DeleteI keep a list of weak words by my desk when I'm writing and try to avoid them. How about, "The only light was a sliver of moon behind the gathering storm clouds."
ReplyDeleteSo do I. :)
DeleteI love your take on the prompt, Andrea! Thanks for participating!
I have a client who will not allow me to use is/was/were at ALL. Talk about tough! It does make my writing better, though.
ReplyDeleteJeez! I wouldn't even think that's possible.
DeleteRain and thunder played cat and mouse in the shadows of the inky colored night.
ReplyDeletePlayed cat and mouse. I like that!
DeleteGreat advice, Chrys!
ReplyDeleteA Jarring thunderclap followed by fierce lightning bolts split the night, and the dry land succumbed to the deluge that followed.
Awesome word use, Michelle!
DeleteI love the example/better section! I learned a lot by reading that :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat! :D
DeleteAmazing the way a slight change in words, positioning of words can make to a sentence.
ReplyDeleteIt really is. :)
DeleteGreat tips as usual, Chrys! "Was" pops up on my radar, especially if used too often with description. But that's a whole 'nother topic. I like how simple you made it look at turning something dull in to something spectacular!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Loni. I still have a problem with "was" but I'm getting better at it. :)
DeleteExcellent tip! I'll have to keep that in mind. I am so guilty of meandering.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you like my tip, Elizabeth. :)
DeleteReally good point, Chrys! You stated it so simply and clearly, too. I bet I make this mistake in my writing. Gotta go hunt those bad sentences down...
ReplyDeleteI always try to state it simply and clearly so I don't confuse anyone. :)
DeleteHappy #Blitz day.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susan! :)
Delete