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September 04, 2019

Age of Insecurity



GOOD NEWS: 

Hurricane Crimes won silver in the 2019 Readers’ Favorite Award Contest in the Fiction - Short Story/Novella genre! ‬

Write with Fey: 10 Sparks to Guide You from Idea to Publication won bronze in the 2019 Readers’ Favorite Award Contest in the Non-Fiction Writing/Publishing genre! ‬

~*~

It has been a while since I’ve talked about an insecurity…other than sharing my story about my depression and burnout.

So, here is an insecurity that I’ve dealt with on and off since I started blogging and publishing…one I don’t like to talk about…my age.

When I started blogging, I knew I wouldn’t share my age, because I didn’t want anyone to use my age against me, discount my advice as coming from someone “too young,” who couldn’t possibly know anything about writing, etc.

I was fortunate that the blogosphere didn’t seem to mind that I looked like a toddler in my profile photo, that my posts mattered more. Thank you!

But I’ve been more active lately in going out into the world as Chrys Fey the author, and my age insecurity has only heightened.

How Old Are You?

Last year I was invited to give a speech during a luncheon. After my speech and selling a few copies of my books, a lady and her friend came up to me and asked me my age, a question I regret. I played along asking her how old she thinks I am. She said, “Seventeen.”

Me: *blink blink*

In my speech, I had said I had been writing since twelve and at seventeen I’d encountered my first writer’s block, which had been many, many years ago. Obviously, I was no longer seventeen.

I ended up revealing my age to her and her friend, although I hadn’t wanted to, and I shouldn’t have felt that I needed to, but she had kept on pressing.

Would you like a side of age with your lunch?

This year, I attended a lunch with my  TWRP publisher and a handful of local authors. I was the last author to arrive (but I was there before my publisher), and I noticed right away that I was the youngest one in attendance, and they all noticed it, too. (Although there was a woman there closer to my age, but the thing was…she didn’t look sixteen, as I do in person.) I saw the surprise in their eyes that I was the author, that I didn’t come with the author. After I introduced myself, they all shifted away. None of them talked to me. I sat there regretting my decision to come. When my publisher got there, she also had a slight reaction when I said, “I’m Chrys.” She cocked her head to the side and paused with a frozen smile, like “Really?” It wasn’t until I started to offer a misguided, new author advice when the others there started to realize that, although I may look like a teeny-bopper, I had good info and lot of experience.

From One Age to Another Age

At a writer’s meeting this year, a woman pointed out her white hair to me when she said she didn’t know what a blog was. Then she mentioned that although she may not know things I know (newer technology), that there are things she knows that I’ve probably never even seen before, like a rotary phone. I laughed at that and joked along, saying that I have seen rotary phones and had played with them when I was younger. (In fact, I know how to use them. I just never owned one.) Despite my light-heartedness, my insecurity bubbled up inside…my age was front and center again. When this happens, I resort to saying one sentence, which comes out when I am extremely insecure, “I look and sound a lot younger than I actually am.”

Looking Younger, Being Young

Many people will say it’s a good thing to look younger than your age, that you will be happy for that in your old age; I hear that all the time, but in professional situations, it can make people see and think of you differently.

Age shouldn’t matter.

Whether you are young, mature, look younger than your age, or are younger than others around you and look younger to boot.

Ageism Sucks

Age doesn’t equate to what a person knows or their experience. This goes for the old and the young.

Even at the flea market while buying veggies with my mom and sister and nephews, I got asked by the booth owner if I was going to school locally. My jaw almost dropped. I said, "Oh no, I am waaaay past school." He then made a joke to my mom, guessing my age to be much younger than it is. I guess because I look young, and my mom lives with me, and I bring her to many places (I only have one car, and we both use it...we're two peas in a pod, really) that makes me seem even younger than I am. But I can show you the wrinkles across my forehead that don't lie.


One day, I may be less insecure about my age, but until then, whenever someone asks how old I am or I see in their eyes that they are dismissing me professionally for how young I look, I shrink inside, much like the child they think I am.

Added: If people thought I was younger just randomly, I'd shrug about it, but with my writing/publishing, etc., it bothers me when I see those reactions or get those statements. 


GUESS: I won’t reveal my age or even indicate if someone is close or spot-on, but go ahead and take a guess for how old you think I am. I won't mind. This time. It'll be interesting to see your guesses. ;)

QUESTION: Has ageism ever affected you?



108 comments:

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Chrys - it's funny isn't it - if you're young ... go for it and not worry - you'll have bags more experience by the time you reach my tender age! I know I don't act or talk old - but am now getting more and more offers of seats - usually I decline, as I've probably been sitting on a train for too long anyway. So age works both ways ... I'd start saying in my thirties or forties or whatever and ignoring it ... in a short while no-one will realise you ever had a hang-up. I've just given up worrying ... good luck with a new approach and you've so much to be proud of ... age is irrelevant - cheers Hilary

L. Diane Wolfe said...

LOL! Yes. I've always looked much younger than I am. I buy a bottle of wine at the store, I get carded every time. I learned to embrace it and have no problem proudly declaring I'm in my mid-fifties. It just blows people away. (And the secret to looking young? No kids. Those little vampires suck the life right out of you.)

Jennifer Hawes said...

That's great that people think we're still so young:) I love when kids in my library think I'm twenty. Then I tell them I have a kid who is that age. It blows their little minds. You're right that age doesn't matter in this biz!

Karen Walker said...

guess I'd need a picture to hazard a guess, haha. I relate to this blog post so much, but from the other side of the ageism issue. I turned 70 in April, I have white hair, so people think I'm older than I am. I even got asked if I needed a wheelchair at an airport. Uggh!

nashvillecats2 said...

Age certainly has played havoc with the medical profession, I have found since reaching status of "Elderly" it's hard to get the treament one is used to.At 75 I realise one get aches and pains but it's my Epilepsy that is being ignored also.
Hope all is well with you.
Yvonne.

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Congrats on the awards! Well done!

The older I get, the younger everyone else looks. :) I don't care how old someone is as long as they have the actual experience/knowledge I'm looking for.

T. Powell Coltrin said...

I have never looked my age and that was okay. I just need to remember to act it--my age.

You are working hard and your awards are a great award.

Teresa

Toi Thomas said...

Congrats on your awards. You totally deserve them.
I think I've finally reached an age where people no longer assume they know my age. When I was younger, everyone thought I was older. Other kids used to come up to me and ask me to buy them tickets to R-rated movies. Parents would see me wrangling my friends at the mall and ask me what my babysitting rates were. As I got older, people always assumed I was someones mother, but they never thought I looked old. Someone actually tried to scold me once for being such a young mother and setting a bad example. I wasted no time in telling her where to go and how to get there, plus I don't have any kids. Still, even today people seem intimidated by the fact that they can't tell how old I am. I've been told that I can look younger than my actual age but because I'm so intimidating, people assume I'm older than my actual age. I sometime wonder if it's the color of my skin that intimidates people and they are too afraid to say so, so they say it's my age. Either way, it's annoying.

Chemist Ken said...

I haven't had that problem in a while, but I used to look a lot younger than I was, which always seem to predispose everyone to think I was too young to know anything. Heck, I even gave that problem to one of my characters so that everyone tended to ignore him while he was busy solving the mystery.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Why are people so concerned about someone's age?
I'll guess you're around thirty-five.

Lisa said...

I won't even try to guess! I don't need to because I go by what I know about you from your blog. I listen to your insight. I am grateful for people like you, young or older, who share their hard-earned wisdom and thoughts with the rest of us. I understand your feeling about your age. My younger sister could always get away with not getting carded, but not me! Now I don't mind, but I do understand why you feel hesitant to reveal.

Natalie Aguirre said...

While it's great that you still look young, it's weird how people react to it. It really doesn't matter and there are teens who have accomplished amazing things already. Maybe make a joke about it or where what you consider "power clothes" when you do author presentations. I'll confess my age to you--63--way older than you though I'm glad I look a lot younger than that.

Chrys Fey said...

It certainly does go both ways. I think I will start being vague about my age if someone asks. It's unfortunate that people refer to age as what people are capable of or to indicate their worth. Age, as you said, is irrelevant.

Chrys Fey said...

I don't have any kids and may never, say I just may look young forever. lol Although, my mom had five kids and she looks much younger than her age.

Chrys Fey said...

Yes, it is a good thing for my looks, but not for business. lol

Chrys Fey said...

There's a picture of me in the sidebar of my blog, for my profile. :)

Ageism sucks on either end of the spectrum. It seems the middle is the only safe place where ageism is not as common.

Chrys Fey said...

I'm so sorry for your struggles, Yvonne!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you! :)

Chrys Fey said...

What's interesting is that I've always acted older than my age. When I was a teen in middle school and high school, I acted so much older.

Thank you, Teresa!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much, Toi!

That certainly sounds frustrating. The sad thing is that you can never know what people really think and can only wonder. If it's any consolation, I think you look young, and I don't even know your actual age. :)

Chrys Fey said...

I love that your character was the one solving the mystery while everyone ignored him for thinking he was too young.

Chrys Fey said...

I don't know. Honestly. The just...are.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much, Lisa! I appreciate your words. :)

Chrys Fey said...

It is weird. I've had it for so long, too, and it's annoying. I do wear "power clothes" that look professional when I go to book events or give speeches, etc. But I don't think it helps one bit. lol

Rachna Chhabria said...

Hi Chrys, age is just a number. I read somewhere that age is just mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter :)

Jemi Fraser said...

Sometimes people are such idiots! I think working as a teacher over the years has shown me that I've learned to ignore age as it relates to knowledge, expertise, or enthusiasm. Life is far too short for people to be that nosy or dismissive of other people for such a silly reason!

Chrys Fey said...

I like that. :)

And it's true that it's just a number, but if only others would realize that.

Chrys Fey said...

I agree, Jemi. Thank you for your comment!

Suzanne Furness said...

Age is a funny one isn't it? I have often been told I look too young to have grown up children and I'm told I look younger than I am and must have young genes! I understand my voice sounds young too. Nice in many ways, but I take your point exactly. Age shouldn't matter it's how we feel inside. Interesting topic.

Anonymous said...

I'm in the same boat as you in how old I look. Only recently, people stopped guessing I was 18, but they are still shocked when I tell them my exact age. (As of today, 37. Three years from 40!) Sometimes I want to whip out my driver's license to prove it. I've never experienced what you have in regards to writing, but I do go out and do much real life interactions with other writers. The most I have is people being impressed at how many books I have written because they assume I'm younger than I am.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from, kiddo - I can see, 'cause, like, all I gotta do is gaze down this nose and... Which reminds me. Folks are always asking if I poke this nose into their business. So, hello! I'm the Pukelitzer Award winning journalist and my name is Feeling Nosey, so whadda ya think? But then again - maybe they think I'm too young looking to be this seasoned and professional? Oh, wait. *snaps fingers* Uhh, yeah, that's kinda the point of your post, huh?

Jacqui Murray said...

How funny--my ageism is the other end: Am I too old? You'll reach a point without even recognizing you crossed a rubicon where you wonder if you're too old!

Chrys Fey said...

My voice also sounds young, which doesn't help things. lol

Chrys Fey said...

And that's annoying...that people are surprised at how many books you have written because they think you're younger than you are...as if someone who is younger can't have written and published a lot of books. Sigh.

Chrys Fey said...

Yup. That is the point of my post. Thanks for calling me "Kiddo," by the way. lol

Chrys Fey said...

I actually have those thoughts now of feeling old. haha Kind funny since I look so young.

Juneta key said...

I feel old, but in my 40's people guessed me 30 and some 25. I don't think I look that young now but I don't look my age. I do move like my age as I have difficulty standing and staying on my feet to walk. The thing for me is how people ignore or run over you if you have a disability and they dismiss you and don't listen...

Anyways.. since I was always thought so much younger at one time, I would guess 30's to mid-thirties.

emaginette said...

I don't think ageism has touched my life, however, I call myself an old lady. I'm sixty-some. My son says I look like I'm in my thirties. He's kind and sweet, but I don't know of many people with grey hair at thirty.

I don't think about it and after reading your post, I realize I'm pretty lucky.

In the adult world, age should never matter--ever. If only I was the one in control of all things. ;-)

Anna from elements of emaginette

Elizabeth Seckman said...

When I first started in social work at the age of 22, I worked with juveniles. A police officer came to our shelter to pick up a client and mistook me for the 16-year-old. That prompted everyone to call me Doogie Howser. Now that I've hit 50, I miss those "too young" days.

Tamara Narayan said...

I've always looked younger than my actual age and it never really bothered me. I guess I was lucky that by the time I did get into a professional job at around 30, it didn't really matter that I looked like I was still in my twenties. These days, I'm not young and it's obvious, but I don't know if most people would correctly guess my age within 5 years. I'm pretty happy about that. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

So, if looking too young now is a problem, I'm pretty sure that some day it will become an advantage.

Toi Thomas said...

Thanks.

Judy Ann Davis said...

Hi, Chris. Ah, age is a funny thing. I'm surprised someone actually asked you. However, writing has no age limits and that's what we all enjoy as authors and writers. Hang in, my pretty. You will be looking great as the years march by.

Jeff said...

I was carded often until I decided to keep a beard (which was half a lifetime ago). Since then, everyone always thinks I'm 10 or so years younger, but in the last years, as my beard has become more and more gray, less so.

You're 27?

Hope you are doing well in this storm (it's given me time to finish another blog post).

www.thepulpitandthepen.com

Chrys Fey said...

Hugs!

Chrys Fey said...

I have a body of an old woman. Nerve damage in my right leg means that I can't be on my feet long, and my bad back means I can't do a lot due to pain and restrictions. So, I fully understand the disability thing...I am legally disabled. :( But people look at me and don't think I am.

Chrys Fey said...

Hey, some young girls dye their hair grey/silver to be "trendy." So, maybe you could pull it odd. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Oh my gosh! I would've been pissed off by that. But also laughing...later. Much later. lol

Chrys Fey said...

I wish it didn't bother me. Eventually, I know it won't. But I am happy that I do have my mom's "young" genes. She also looks younger than her age. By about ten years.

Chrys Fey said...

I was surprised, too.

Exactly. A writer can be any age. From 5 to 105!

Chrys Fey said...

I will say that, no, I am not 27. That's younger than my actual age.

Thanks, Jeff! I am doing good. Nothing actually happened where I am. Last night, it was quiet. I hope you are your family are well!

Lidy said...

Congrats on winning silver for Hurricane Crimes and bronze for Write with Fey: 10 Sparks to Guide You from Idea to Publication!

When it comes to my age, most people are actually surprised that I’m older than they’d guessed. They always seem to shave off five to ten years off my actual age. Don’t really know if I should feel good or bad about it. I look young but always thought of it as looking good or well for my age. But the surprise at my actual age is usually followed by some statement of I don’t act my age. So are they trying to say I’m immature? Who made them the authority about it anyways? The Mowry twins are older than the Olsen twins but the former looks way younger than the latter. But does that say anything about experience? No. It’s just genes, health, lifestyle, etc.

Tonja Drecker said...

Congratulations on both of your awards! You deserve them :)

People have always guessed me to be younger than I am. Usually, when my college age son pops up next to me, they ask how old I was when he was born. I honestly have never cared about my age. It is what it is. If people don't cast others in a category because of age, it will be for something else. That's human nature. So, why worry about it?

Chrys Fey said...

That's true, but after being judged by my age or how old people think I am (whether spoken or hinted or thought) for so long, it's not something that I can so easily ignore. One day. Perhaps. Probably when I am older and they at least guess my age to be older than my teens or early twenties! If it weren't for the judgement in terms of my career, I wouldn't care so much.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much, Lidy!

Oh my gosh. They actually say you don't act your age after they find out how old you are? If that were said to me, I'd think it to be a jab. I mean...that can't really be said any other way.

And, yes, who gives anyone any authority over how people should act at any age? Or when someone can be successful?

I love the Tia and Tamara!

Sarah Foster said...

That's crazy how people react just because they think you're young!
I had a coworker ask a couple years ago if I was still in high school. I was like, "Uh...I'm 30..." But when I was a teenager, people thought I was older! I think I've just probably looked the same for half my life. My husband is a few years older than me but people think he's a teenager, too.

Chrys Fey said...

Funny you mentioned that. When I was a teenager, a landlord thought I was the older sister, and I was standing next to my older sisters. I was shocked by that, since everyone usually thought I was twelve when I was eighteen. Odd, huh?

Pat Hatt said...

Yeah, people look at you differently when they think you are super young. Like, "what do they know." I've lived longer." Pfffft usually those people are stuck in their ways. I've had people ask, sometimes I tell, other times I just say too old. lol Going on 31 at your sea?

Chrys Fey said...

Exactly! I swear I get that "what does she know" look all the time when I first meet groups of writers for the first time.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

I've always looked younger than I am, too. When my hubby and I were on our honeymoon, one of the fellas we met thought I was his daughter, which I thought was hilarious. (We're the same age.) Today, we went to the hospital, and once again, one of the doctors thought I was my hubby's daughter. OY! (I'm glad he wasn't the one who did the surgery! HA!)

Anyhow, don't let it bother you. People who are rude enough to ask you your age don't deserve an answer. (Do you think they'd tell you how old THEY are?) A person's competence isn't dictated by age... and certainly not by the age they LOOK. Be proud of who you are and of all you've accomplished. Speaking of which, congratulations on those awards!

Sandra Cox said...

Congrats on the wins! That's wonderful.
I've got to admit, I've never thought about looking young being a handicap. I'm sorry to hear that it's been an issue in the writing world.

Heather Erickson said...

Chrys, When I was fresh out of high school about a century ago, I became a Realtor. No one would list their home with me or trust me to help them buy one. I didn't even own one, myself! I put off writing since my parents highly discouraged it. Later in life I pursued my dream. But by that time, I felt so old and out of touch. I was upset with myself for letting the time slip away, wasted. I still am. I'm not even that old, and I certainly don't look it (at least I hope not). But I feel old inside. I see people my age who have paid their dues by starting young, like you , and they are succeeding, because they are good and they have put the time in. I constantly feel like I'm starting over. And, now I have to look for a job, with no college education and severe arthritis. What job my lack of education won't preclude me from, my chronic pain will. I guess I would just tell you from the other end of the spectrum that you have something to offer. I've subscribed to your blog, and that's something I don't often do. You have a gift for words and a transparency that is enviable. Your youth is a good thing. It doesn't make you a good or a bad writer. You are already a good writer, but it does afford you some time and energy when you can put it to good use to further your career. Be proud of who you are, including your age. Think of Mozart, composing is first symphony at age 8. No one says it is any less worthy because he was so young. Sure, he may have had more to learn, but others had a lot to learn from him, and history is in awe of him, partly because of what he accomplished at such a young age. Anyway, I have blathered on enough about this. You are awesome.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much for your comment. Susan. Your words meant a lot to me.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you!

Looking young can be a handicap when people in your chosen industry dismiss you as a professional upon meeting you the first time.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so, so much for your comment, Heather, and for sharing your story with me. I'm sad that you put off writing for so long, but it is never too late to start writing or to follow a new dream. I know a little bit of what you go through. I am legally disabled with a bad back and nerve damage in my right leg. I can't work a normal job. I was not able to go to college. In fact, I got my GED. For a long time, that was another insecurity until I became proud of the education I have.

Again, thank you for your words. I know that I have more time (hopefully) to do more. As for energy, I may not have as much as others my age because of my health issue. But, other than that, I will start to look at my age in the terms of Mozart. :)

Liz A. said...

Occasionally students will ask me how old I am. "Over 21." The one class that wouldn't take that for an answer got, "Under 99" for a narrowing of it down.

People get so judgy about stupid stuff. If they're going to assume you're a teen and insist on that even when presented with evidence to the contrary... You picked the right career. Most of the time your books will speak for themselves.

Chrys Fey said...

Ha! I'll have to use those answers the next time I'm asked. ;)

Carrie-Anne said...

I'm horrible at guessing ages, but I'd guess you're about thirty.

I was born near the end of 1979, but no one ever guesses my age as older than 25. My soft facial features make me look much younger. It was humiliating when an old guy pushing a little boy in a pram asked me, in May of '99, if I shouldn't still be in school when I was starting off on a walk. In shock, I told him it was the last day of community college and that I was nineteen. Not apologizing, he said in a rather rude voice, "You looked like you were twelve years old!" I wish I'd thought to fire back, "Have you ever seen a 12-year-old with such large breasts?" I don't get how anyone could've seen my large bustline in my late teens and still assumed I was all of 12-13 based on my face!

H.R. Sinclair said...

First--congrats! That's fantastic. Ageism is just dumb. You could tell people your cursed (or blessed) with eternal youth. Let them chew on that for a bit.

Samantha Bryant said...

Ageism on either end is silly. We can always learn from other people and they from us, and our ages are only one measure of our experiences. No one thinks I'm 16 anymore, but I did get stopped and asked for a hall pass in my first teaching job, and people still underestimate my age. I always say, "I'm not really young. I'm just immature." @samanthabwriter from
Balancing Act

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Congrats on those awards. Terrific. When I was young, I was often judged to be younger than I was. I taught high school and parent meetings sometimes started with that, how old are you anyway. I never felt insecure about and it doesn't bother me now that I'm older and people look past me. Old women are invisible to anyone but other old women and toddlers. LOL

Diane Burton said...

Congrats on your awards. You really deserve them. I'm at the other end of the age spectrum. For years online, I used my first profession photo, taken almost 20 yrs ago. This year, I thought the heck with it. I am what I am. So I use the lovely photo taken last fall (along with my family photos that I treasure). If I'm dismissed because of my age, so be it. They don't know what they're missing. lol You are who you are. Be proud of it. You are an inspiration to so many--moi, included.

Beverly Stowe McClure said...

Congratulations for your awards. So exciting. As for age, don't let people that ask you how old you are bother you. They're rude. It's none of their business. What difference does it make anyhow? Sigh. I wish I could worry about being too young. Instead, no one believes how old I am. Hey, see there's some good to it.

Jennifer Lane said...

Congratulations on your awards, Chrys! That sounds motivating.

I might be facing a different ageism than you in that I'm 48 and I often work with college students, so they may think I'm too old and out of touch. Fortunately I've been told I look a little younger than my age, but this problem will keep increasing. One thing I love about aging is increased confidence. I'll guess your age as 26!

Damyanti Biswas said...

Congratulations yet again on the awards! Women become targets of ageism more than men, and it angers me.

Rebecca M. Douglass said...

Let me add my congrats to the chorus, with regard to the rewards!

Since I was still getting accused of being 17 when I was 27, I'm going to guess 27 for you. I suspect it is hard for a young (or young-looking) and attractive woman to get taken seriously as an adult. I'm thinking there's more sexism than ageism in your problem.

I haven't been thought "too young" for many many years now, and I've never really been in a position where it mattered. But in my head... in my head, I'm still that hopelessly inexperienced 17-year-old. So maybe the opposite problem?

Rebecca M. Douglass said...

LOL--maybe suggest there's a picture in your attic they should see...?

Adrienne Reiter said...

Age totally doesn't matter. There have been children who walked across Europe to escape Nazi Germany who've seen way beyond their years. Like Bill Graham who made his mark here in San Francisco. Great post!

Nancy Gideon said...

Ha, I'm the opposite end - old enough to recall writing my first six published books in long hand and typing them on a typewriter! Don't get me started on correction tape! But few who meet me guess my age. I'm denial (except when it comes to dreaming about retirement . . . all those writing hours . . .). When I enter a group of writers, I feel like I'm someone's mom or grandmother!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Rebecca!

Nope. I will say that I am older than 27.

For me, I think it's more an ageism problem than a sexism problem since the reactions I've gotten have mostly been from other women. And I'm not all that attractive...

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Jennifer!

And holy cow...no, I am older than 26. lol

Chrys Fey said...

I agree. Thanks for your comment, Samantha!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Susan!

You must be stronger than me, because parents always asking my age when I'm the teacher would've bugged me.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Diane!

I love your new author photo!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Beverly!

Yes, what difference does it make? :)

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you!

And 100%!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Adrienne! And good point.

Chrys Fey said...

I know about correction tape. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Eternal youth. I like that suggestion. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Ugh. That would've been annoying and even embarrassing. Some old guys can be rather creepy to young women and even little girls.

Gwen Gardner said...

I feel like I'm being judged for being too old to write young adult characters. Just keep doing your thing and being the best you. You're rocking it!

Gwen Gardner said...

Oh, heh, I grew up with rotary phones. When push buttons came out? That was high tech! LOL.

Julie Flanders said...

I think it's so rude that people either badgered you about your age or avoided talking to you. What on earth?? It's so odd to me as even if you were as young as you look, who cares? You're obviously a talented writer so that's really all that matters. People can be so strange.
I come at it from the other side as I worry about being too old. But it is great that we have such a wide range of ages here in IWSG land and no one seems to care.

Denise Covey said...

Ageism has no place in the writing world or any other. With age comes more knowledge and experience, but youth has its good points too. Energy for one...Phew, I'm tired...

diedre Knight said...

You're only as old as you feel, Lady Chrys. Some days I'm still 30, other days I'm 102 ; - ) It's wisdom; a category in which you happen to excel, that matters.
Congratulations on the award! This candid post on insecurity should win one too.
I bet horn-rimmed glasses and bright red lipstick would keep the skeptics at bay ;-)
Happy writing!

Victoria Marie Lees said...

Wisdom is the important trait, Chrys. And you are blessed with an abundance...even if you are [only] 25. More power to you! I hope you are well. You are always in my prayers.

Murees Dupè said...

That does suck. You have so much experience, and knowledge of being an author. People forget that some people can go through a lot in a short time, and come out mature and wiser. Age has nothing to do with it. However life experience does. You can have experienced a lot more difficulties/ hardships in 20 years of your existance, than someone ever did in their 70 years of life. Don't let their ignorance upset you. You keep being you.

Murees Dupè said...

Not saying you're 20, just an example😉😉.

Lisa Thomson said...

Hmmm, after all this you're not going to give it away--- LOL. I think of you as younger than me but not way younger. You have a mature personae and outlook on life. I can gather this from your writing. Your novels and blog couldn't be created by a child. I'm guessing you're in your 30's.
I used to get a similar reaction from people at my work. Everyone thought I was 10 years younger than my age. I still get it a bit but my looks have definitely matured making my age more obvious. Enjoy and embrace the youthful look, Chrys. You can blow people's minds with your unexpected wisdom and talent.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi Chrys,

DON'T let it concern you! You a bright and caring woman and that is all that matters! I was like you decades ago. I always looked many years younger and it did bother me at the time, especially because it did hinder my career at the time as well. I wasn't writing then. I was a male model in NYC. Then, they wanted men to look mature and sexy. I looked like a kid. Even in my 30's I modeled young menswear. I would have been perfect in todays marked, but back in the 70's and 80's they wanted Men, not boys. But the experiences I had introduced me into a fascinating world. I matured quickly which actually saved my life. I never got into COKE or other drugs because I saw the effect it had on others in the industry. Beautiful young people throwing their lives away and many overdosing. So sad.

I also came to writing when I was in my late 40's... I felt OLD. I thought I had missed my time and now that I am WELL into my 50's, I still hope to sell one of my novels. I came close several times, and I hoping my latest will be my breakthrough novel. Time will tell.

Always age is just a number! You are what is known as an "OLD SOUL." You lived many lives before this one and that is way you are wise beyond your years. I am as well. I remember saying to my parents an three-year-old that I wanted to go to Europe... what kid that age says such things? Especially back in the mid 1960's...

SO don't let it get to you.

Patsy said...

It's odd that people feel it's OK to ask authors rude or personal questions eg how old are you, how much money you earn, do you have sex like your characters, when they wouldn't do that to other strangers, or even people they know quite well.

Chrys Fey said...

It is insane the types of questions people think they can ask authors.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much! Your comment made me feel so much better about all of this.

Chrys Fey said...

Yes, that's another reason to love the IWSG. We're all different. We live in different places, write in different genres, and our ages run the spectrum.

Chrys Fey said...

Exactly! Thanks for commenting, Denise!

Chrys Fey said...

At least I am not (only) 25. :)

Thank you, Victoria!

Chrys Fey said...

When I was little, I did go through a lot. And then again as a teenager. All of that aged my mind significantly. Then I had surgeries and stuff that aged my body. lol

Chrys Fey said...

And I often feel ancient! lol

Thank you so much, Diedre!

Chrys Fey said...

Nope, not giving it away. ;)

It is fun to blow people's minds. Especially when they think I'm 18 or YOUNGER.

Thanks for your comment, Lisa!