Learning to Read was a Struggle

Hello, I'm a writer, and I struggle to pronounce certain words and names that I don't know.

Hello, I'm a writer, and I do not have an extensive vocabulary.

Hello, I'm a writer, and I'm a horrible speller.

Hello, I'm a writer, and learning to read was a challenge.

I've shared in the past about how I am not a vocab or spelling wiz. (See: To Be a Writer, You Don't Need...To Be a Good Speller)

I've also casually commented and told others about how I don't know how to pronounce other people's names, especially if I've never come across that name and the spelling for that name before.

Don't even get me started on the name Louis. I get tripped up on that name every time. Without fail.

I want to talk more about how I struggled to read as a kid.

Should You Keep Writing or Stop?

 

Reasons Why You Should Keep Writing:

- Writing is your purpose. You don’t know what you’d do if you weren’t writing, it’s the only thing you want to do, and you hate not being able to write every day, or at least a few times a week.

- Writing is your passion. It makes you happy, it’s your main creative outlet, or your favorite hobby.

- You enjoy it. You love crafting characters, imagining worlds, and concocting stories.

- The only way you can express yourself is through writing. You use it to heal from your past, to understand your emotions, and to share parts of yourself otherwise hidden or kept secret.

- Writing is your escape. You use it to get out of your head, away from your struggles, and to leave your life temporarily.

- You’ve been writing for years—maybe ever since you were a child—and you sincerely feel that writing is in your blood. In other words, it’s who you are.

- You have stories inside you begging to be written and that you want to write.

- There are characters in your head that you love and can’t wait to write about.

- You have aspirations of being published, and you don’t want to give up on that dream.

- In your low moments, you say you want to quit, but you simply can’t. You have writing bones, muscles, blood, tears, and spit. You can’t stop being who and what you are, just as you can’t stop being human.

You may be able to come up with other reasons to keep writing. All of them are valid.

Now, I don’t like telling someone not to write, but…

Reasons Why You Should Stop Writing:

My Muse Says, "Hi!"

 

In Greek mythology, there are nine goddesses (known as muses), daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, who preside over the arts and sciences:

Calliope – Epic Poetry

Clio – History

Erato – Lyric Poetry

Euterpe – Song and Elegiac Poetry

Melpomene – Tragedy

Polyhymnia – Hymns

Terpsichore – Dance

Thalia – Comedy

Urania – Astronomy 

Usually when we think of a muse, we think of a person or a force that is the source of inspiration for a creative person. Sometimes we visualize a fairy-type creature sprinkling us with glittery star dust, which can cause people to think that the idea of a muse as silly, and they balk at the idea of needing a muse to inspire them. They will say something like, “If I waited for a muse to inspire me, I’d never write.”

To me, a muse is a manifestation of your creativity that can make you feel less lonely in the writing process. This manifestation gives you someone to greet when you open the document for your work-in-progress or pick up a pen, someone to vent to or yell at when things aren’t going right. 

When I was little, I had an imaginary friend named Ena. As the youngest in my family, and often pushed aside by my siblings, my imaginative (and lonely) mind did the only thing it could to help me to grow, nurture my creativity, and give me a companion I badly needed and craved; it invented a friend for me and only me. I didn’t have to share her with anyone, and she was always there when I needed her. My entire family knew about Ena and embraced the idea of her. They would even ask me about her like, “How is Ena?” And I would be happy to deliver a report. 

Do You Write? Then You're A Writer!

Julie & Julia is one of my favorite comfort movies. In the beginning of the film, Julie says to her husband, “You’re not a writer unless someone wants to publish you.”

Wrong.

You’re a writer if you write.

Period.

That doesn’t mean you have to be writing all the time, either.

You’re still a writer when you’re blocked.

You’re still a writer when your burned out.

You’re still a writer when you choose to take a break.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a writer is “one that writes,” which should say one “one who writes,” but you get it.

Another definition is that a writer is someone who “expresses ideas in writing.”

No matter which definition you choose, all of them say the same thing…that a writer is a person who writes.

“Published” is never mentioned.

Write What Makes You Happy & Let Others Write What Makes Them Happy

Once, on social media, I read comments between two authors who mocked Hallmark Christmas movies, and they laughed over the idea of them writing stories like that. One writer responded, “Shoot me now.” The other asked a moral quandary question that went like this: “Would you write those cheesy stories if you knew you’d be able to support your family?” The one who asked added that she would because she’s a “sellout.”

That conversation, which I did not get involved in, stuck with me.

Dialogue like that, in public settings, can put other writers down. Someone who writes sweet romances with Hallmark-like vibes may have seen that and felt ridiculed for writing stories that make them happy, and also uplifts the spirits of so many people.

Writing “cheesy stories,” Hallmark-esque stories, sweet romances, romantic-comedies is NOT selling out. 

Nor is writing erotica, a genre that has become increasing popular over the years.

What we write is personal. It’s a decision.

Dear Marketing Conflicted Writer

 

Dear Marketing Conflicted Writer,

Do you worry about having to sell yourself and your book?

Many writers do. For some, the fear and aversion to selling is so strong that they do nothing to promote their books, which is absolutely in their right. No one has to do what they truly don’t want to do. If promoting yourself and your books fills you with anxiety and insecurity, don’t do it. You’ll be happier for it. At the same time, you have to be okay with accepting the possible results of not promoting—fewer sales, fewer reviews.

Then there are the writers who want to promote but worry about others thinking they’ve sold out. Why? Because there are artists out there who believe marketing is a bad thing, that real artists shouldn’t stoop so low as to promote their work, that the people who do are only after fame and fortune. They say you’ve “sold out.”

Dear Writer with a Problematic Story

 

Dear Writer with a Problematic Story,

If something isn’t working, let it be.

Sometimes, no matter what we do, a story isn’t working out the way we want it to. Despite trying. Despite determination. Despite the best of intentions.

When this happens, the best thing we can do is to let it be.

Not to forget it.

Not to give up on it.

Definitely not to trash it.

Dear Perfectionist Writer

 

Dear Perfectionist Writer,

In my post “Dear Stuck Writer,” I discussed how people could say you’re blocked because you’re not willing to embrace imperfect art and how that statement is not accurate for all artists. But now I want to discuss actually seeking perfection.

Aiming for perfection in the first draft (even your final draft) can cause exhaustion and lead to burnout. It can cause your muse to cross their arms and run away. 

It is okay to write a sentence that’s two words long. Sometimes I write a sentence that’s a single word long.

It is okay to write a sentence that is subpar.

It is okay to write a wordy sentence.

It is okay to write a boring paragraph.

It is okay to write a paragraph that is two sentences long, or one sentence long.

How to Cleanse & Spring Clean Your Writing Space

 

How To Cleanse Your Writing Space

Drive away the negative energies in your writing room, work area, office space, bedroom, studio apartment, or wherever you write. As a matter of fact, I would say to drive away negative energies throughout your entire living quarters.

Method #1: Ring a bell

The vibrations break up lingering negative energies conjured by all of your writer’s blocks, editing headaches, rejections, plot struggles, and any other problems you might’ve had last year with writing, publishing, and marketing and that leaked into the air while venting your anxieties into your space’s atmosphere. Take a bell and ring it around your writing area, focusing on the corners where these bad energies can collect.

Method #2: Smoke Cleanse

Light incense and move around your writing space clockwise to cleanse the area. Wave the incense in all corners, doorways, windows, and throughout the rest of the space (you can do this in every room) with the intention of cleansing the space. 

Great incense scents to try for this: sage, rosemary, sandalwood, lavender

Method #3: Salt

Salt has protective properties. You can sprinkle salt around the outside of your house in a circle to keep out unwanted energies, including people with bad energy. You can also mix salt into water and sprinkle a little through your house for added protection and cleansing. 

Make sure to focus on your desk when you do these techniques. Ring that bell across your desk, and if your desk is in a corner or in front of a window, attack that space with the bell and incense. Wave that incense stick in front of your computer screen, around your modem, and hold your keyboard up so the smoke can float over the keys. Then sprinkle salted water around your desk and on your writing chair. 

If you can, open the windows after your cleansing to let out the negative and let in the good. Even for a few seconds. If you’re unable to open a window, stand in the middle of the room and imagine positive things (love, happiness, success) coming in. 

Enjoy your space!

Spring Clean Your Writing Space

Freeing up space makes me feel lighter and creates room for good things, better things to come in.

First, let’s tackle our writing devices.

Dear Undiscovered Writer

 

Dear Undiscovered Writer,

Many writers are insecure about being unknown and not having the traction that they desire.

This is the case for countless writers. Not only are there countless authors who are published traditionally through small publishers, there are even more who self-publish. There are an estimated 2.2 million books published worldwide each year. That’s a lot of books.

Some authors can publish several in one year, but the vast majority probably only publish one to two a year, so that could give you a rough (very rough) estimate of how many authors there are around the world.

With that many authors and that many books, it is hard to get noticed. It’s this way for every author.

It's Okay Not To Write

 

Sometimes, we have too much going on and we’re stressed from life. During those times, it’s absolutely okay to not write.

I’ll say it again. Slower.

It. Is. Okay. Not. To. Write.

If you’re stressed beyond belief.

If what’s happening in the world is sucking you dry.

If struggles cropped up in your life out of the blue and have left you shaken or exhausted or beaten.

It. Is. Okay. Not. To. Write.

Are You Prioritizing Your Responsibilities Correctly?

 

A common problem that so many people have is prioritizing their responsibilities incorrectly. I used to have this problem. In Sylvia Brown’s book Soul’s Perfection, she suggests creating a list that answers the question “Where does my time go?” Then create a second list, this time ask yourself "Where should my time go?"

The first time I did it, possibly 2016, this was what I came up with:

Where does my time go?

1. Blogging

2. Marketing

3. Procrastinating

4. Writing

5. Reading

Where should my time go?

1. Writing

2. Learning/Reading

3. Relaxing

4. Marketing

5. Blogging

Years later, in 2018, I tried it again.

Where does my time go?

1. Marketing

2. Blogging

3. Reading

4. Editing

5. Writing

Where should my time go?

1. Writing

2. Reading

3. Blogging

4. Editing

5. Marketing

In 2020:

Where does my time go?

1. Writing

2. Editing

3. Learning/Reading

4. Marketing 

5. Artistic Pursuits

Where should my time go?

1. Writing

2. Editing

3. Learning/Reading

4. Marketing

5. Artistic Pursuits

Did you notice that in 2020 I finally had my priorities right?

Forget TO-DO Lists, It's Time for DON'T-DO Lists

If you make daily/weekly/monthly to-do lists, consider tossing out the TO-DO list and replacing it with a DON’T-DO list, because, honestly, we need more reminders not to do certain things, especially when it comes to ourselves. We do things to ourselves and our creativity all the time, easily, without even thinking, and usually those things are damaging. It's time to stop obsessing over creating to-do lists for never-ending tasks and time to honor ourselves and our creativity with DON'T DO lists.

Consider These Items for Your DON’T-DO List:

Don’t beat yourself up for not writing.

Don’t work until you drop. Take breaks. Listen to your body and mind.

Don’t rush. Go your own pace.

Don’t put off important tasks. Do them first.

Don’t try to do everything. You’re only human. Get help. Outsource.

Don’t try to please everyone. Please yourself.

Don't get pressured into doing what everyone else is doing.

Don’t dwell on the past.

Don't punish yourself for not meeting a goal.

Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from moving forward.

Don’t accept anything short of what you deserve.

Don’t believe someone else’s lies about you.

Don’t remain silent.

Don't overthink.

Don’t be who you are not.