November 12, 2013

Writing About: Intimacy

This post is for anyone who wants to know how to write love scenes.

In my post, How to Write Romance, I mentioned there are two ways to go about writing a romantic scene. The first route is soft and sweet. The second is hot and steamy. So, I am going to go more in-depth on these two tactics and try to stay as PG-13 as I can.

Here are TEN TIPS for each!
FYI: I had adult romance stories in mind when I was writing this post. You may have to alter these tips down a notch or two depending on the ages of your characters.


·         Why is the encounter soft-n-sweet? Couples don’t just make soft, sweet love for the heck of it. Mostly there are emotions behind it. Love, of course, being the most obvious. But other emotions can come into play such as gratefulness, sympathy, hope, and even nervousness if it’s your MC’s first time.

·         Let your readers in on your main character’s thoughts and feelings. Maybe this is the moment when your MC realizes he/she is falling in love. Even if he/she isn’t ready to say those three words, he/she can show how they feel by savoring this moment with his/her lover.

·         Describe your character’s kisses. The kisses should linger and spin into oblivion. Consume and fulfill. Be so descriptive that your readers will wish they are the one being kissed.

·         Have them peel away each other's clothes slowly as if they are unwrapping presents and want to savor the surprise.

·         Then let them taste and touch each other’s bodies leisurely as if there’s no rush, only temptation to fill cravings.

·         Their mouths and hands should move all over their bodies. From head to toe. You can keep the details subtle or you can be very specific. If you go the latter then you should also:

·         Reveal the pleasure they experience from being kissed and touched in a certain way. And yes, let them sigh, moan, and cry.

·         Let them mumble sweet nothings. Some people may gag at this but the things characters say during this moment can really make a sweet love scene even more romantic.

·         Finally, let them join, but with a soft-n-sweet encounter you will want to either end it here or follow through all the way, which leads to my last tip:

·         Make sure the coupling stays soft-n-sweet; that their movements are slow as they build up to the climax. Then have them reach the other side with an explosion that leaves them quivering.


·         Just like with the soft-n-sweet option, couples don’t all of a sudden attack each other like wild animals. Maybe they are fighting and when the gloves finally come off they take out their frustrations on each other sexually. Or maybe they have had encounters that always ended after an explosive kiss or a brief touch. You will need to build up the tension until they are finally alone and can rip each other’s clothes off.

·         The moment their mouths make contact should show eagerness and maybe even harshness. Let their demands be shown through their kiss.

·         Describe the flashes of heat they feel, how their stomachs clench, and their bodies throb with desire.

·         Use special words to show how hot-n-steamy their encounter is such as: erotically, vibrating, desperately, seductive, and sexily.

·         Have them push each other into the wall to nibble, taste, kiss, and touch. Heck, you can even let them run into furniture and knock things over in their mad rush to reach the bed.

·         Let them lose control before they reach the bed! Hot-n-Steamy love scenes can be literally anywhere: floor, coffee table, staircase, broom closet. Like I said, anywhere.

·         They can either tear off all of their clothes in a frenzy to be skin-to-skin or  . . . *Warning: about to get a little more detailed here.* The guy can just unzip his pants and if the woman is wearing a skirt then the only thing that needs to go are her panties.

·         Make the couple vocal with moans and even demands of what they want. This is your chance to add some erotic foreplay.

·         When they are one, don’t lose the intensity, magnify it! Make their movements fast and furious all the way to climax! And then . . .

·         Make them come with a bang!

Eep! This is definitely my most sensual blog post, so I hope you blushed while reading it as much I am blushing knowing you are reading it. lol

QUESTION: What type of love scene is your favorite to read or write? Sweet-n-Soft or Hot-n-Steamy?

SHARE: Your tips for writing a soft-n-sweet and/or hot-n-steamy love scene.


  1. I wasn't sure if this post was SFW.
    Yes, I blush easily.

    1. Pretty safe considering there's no nudity and I tried to keep the language from becoming too explicit, but when you're trying to give tips about intimacy -especially for romance writers- that is difficult to do.

      So do I. lol

  2. Great tips, Chrys. In fact, one could not only use them in writing but try some of them out in the bedroom (kitchen etc) they're that good LOL. One thing I would add is depending on the characters' ages it will be different, too.

    1. Thanks! lol I wasn't going for real life intimacy tips, but heck, I'll take the compliment. haha ;)

      Yes, that is a good point. For this post I was thinking along the line of adults. Not YA. I'll add that to my post. Thank you for mentioning it, Lisa!

  3. I've written both, but never realized I was writing one or the other, or that where were so many definitions of romance until I started submitting. Not wise. I have learned since the rules, which I more or less follow... ok, not really, but I'm learning. I don't have any advice to contribute other than to write what feels right for the characters. I marked this post for future reference. Thanks!!

    1. I'm glad my tips are useful, and whenever you use them in the future I'd love to read the outcome. ;)

  4. Considering I have only written someone else's memoir, this was fun to read - for future pleasure, er, I mean reference :)

    1. A memoir that needs these tips would be a very interesting memoir. LOL!

  5. Replies
    1. Those are nice to read, but I simply can't choose. I like to read both, but writing the hot-n-steamy ones are so much fun. ;)