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June 07, 2017

Beating Insecurities! / IWSG



The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a safe place for insecure writers of all kinds.


Optional June Question: Did you ever say “I quit”? If so, what happened to make you come back to writing?

Yes, I have. SEVERAL times.

Last year, I had said it a lot--when I was getting rejections, when sales weren't happening, reviews weren't coming in, when nothing was working despite my efforts, when my depression reared it's ugly head. I would even go so far as to say to my mom, "Never publish!" 

The very second after I'd yell, "I quit," I'd be back at, trying my hardest. I can't quit writing, because it's my passion. My dream. I may succumb to the pressure and throw a tantrum, but there's not a quitter bone in this body!


****

Insecurity #1: One of my biggest insecurities is recording videos of myself. I get nervous, even if I'm by myself.

Last month, I decided to squash this insecurity. 

I recorded myself doing a reading of Tsunami Crimes. I did it in one take because I didn't want to have to do it again and again. But when I finished, I was excited! I immediately created a YouTube channel, published the video, and added it to Goodreads and LinkedIn (which I had just joined at the time). 

Now, I plan to do a lot more!


Here's my reading. In the beginning, I make a pretty funny mistake. (I also mess up a few words. Oopsy.)


Side Note: To me, I'm a completely different person in this video. I felt like an actor, which is, I guess, what you have to become, even if you're an author. :P



****

Insecurity #2: Being Chrys Fey in Public.

On Saturday, I had my first book signing at: Space Coast Book Lovers

I used this event to conquer more insecurities. I did a recorded interview for Hangin with Web Show. I was so nervous in the beginning, but the host was so nice and funny that it was surprisingly easy. I'll share the video when they put it up. :)


I also signed up for an Author Mingle/Panel. I had to talk about my first published book, Hurricane Crimes, and answer questions. My heart would pound just before it was my turn, but when I had to speak, I did good.


I was really proud of myself afterward.





The Signing: 



Me at my table.


On the right is MJ!


All the authors at the SCBL event. I'm in the back right corner.


Personal Assistants.
My mom is behind the lady in red. She's wearing a black shirt.


*Photos by Christopher John



I went to all of the authors' tables, exchanged business cards with them (including IWSG cards) and asked for their autographs.





What Works:
- Newsletter Giveaway with Newsletter Sign-up Sheets.
- Postcards with book blurb and cover art.
- Hand-painted shells...Florida. People loved it.

Plans for Future:
- MORE COOL FREE STUFF!
- Banners
- Book Stands


Yvonne Mason


Maggie Adams

*Photos by Christopher John


Blogger Scherry Jenkins asked for a picture!

She posted about the event and our meeting here.



My Mom!!

MJ Fifield!!!!!! 



Optional July 5th Question: What is one valuable lesson you've learned since you started writing?


133 comments:

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You got out and you did it - congrats. Book events are SO much fun. I've done over 300 and really miss doing them now that there are so few bookstores around here.

I love that you met up with MJ.

Now that I've seen the photos and heard your voice - OMG, you are so young! I remember youth...

Lynn La Vita said...

I had to smile in sympathy as you described your temper tantrum. Sometimes, a tantrum feels so good and really clears the air. Glad you don't have a quitter bone in your body. You have a lot to share with the world.

Lidy said...

Oh yeah, the rejections would do that. Been there, still there. Nothing gives you quite a beating than having your work rejected. But even though you'd vent about it, you still stuck it through and now networking like a boss.
Hope to be where you are someday.

Chrys Fey said...

How did you manage to go to over 300?

LOL. I knew Therese be "she's so young" reactions. ;) I have good genes from my mom.

The Cynical Sailor said...

Doing a public book appearance and making a video - wow, you are one impressive lady! Those are things that would scare me to death. I hate seeing myself on video and can't imagine ever willingly doing a YouTube video. Looking forward to watching yours once I have better internet connectivity.

Julie Flanders said...

You should be so proud of yourself!! The video is fantastic and I would be so afraid to make one of those. Also so glad you had such a great experience at the book fest. Your table and swag totally rocked. Yay!!
So cool that you and MJ got to meet up!

Chrys Fey said...

Thanks! I hate seeing and hearing myself on videos, but I think I'll get over that. ;)

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

So awesome, Chrys! I'm with Julie - you should be so proud of yourself. You are so much braver than I am. :)

And yeh for meeting MJ, too!

Chrys Fey said...

Tantrums are good to let out steam.

Thanks, Lynn!

Chrys Fey said...

Me? Gosh I feel like I'm nowhere, trying to get where others are. lol

Chrys Fey said...

I never thought I'd do YouTube videos. What's that saying? Never say never. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Thanks! :D

Erika Beebe said...

What a really inspiring post! I like how you stepped outside your comfort and really put your best foot into the challenge. I don't like videos either :)

sherry fundin said...

I agree with Erika. It's hard to face your fears and it sounds like you had a good time. Congratulations on a job well done.
sherry @ fundinmental

Bish Denham said...

Wow, Chrys! Good for you. Being pretty introverted myself I know how challenging it can be to read for people, do an interview, or be social with strangers. And, now that you've done it, each time you do it again, you'll be ever more confident.

Pat Hatt said...

Look at you go, quite the table indeed. Sure looks like a blast was had. Good that there isn't such a bone, we can whine and groan, but have to keep on keeping on.

Nicola said...

GO GIRL!!! Fabulous video and you have no reason to be insecure! More please :) Thank you for sharing and thanks again for the great newsletters.

Murees Dupè said...

Your are absolutely not a quitter, Chrys. It looks and sounds like your author event went well. So proud of you for kicking your insecurities in the teeth. I know your author career will keep going strong because you are amazing.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Erika! I really felt it was something I had to conquer. Now I'm actually excited to do more. :)

Chrys Fey said...

I did have a good time. It was a great experience. I learned a lot. :)

Thanks, Sherry!

Chrys Fey said...

It is such a challenge when you're an introvert, but you're right that it does get easier after each attempt. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Pat! I hope to keep on going. ;)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Look at you and MJ! Now we know what she looks like. It sounds like an awesome event.
Not a chance I'd read my own story. I'd mess up all over the place.

Chrys Fey said...

I plan to do more soon. I did do a reading for Seismic Crimes afterward and put it up on YouTube. I just didn't post it here.

Chrys Fey said...

I was worried I wouldn't recognize her. And I didn't the first day. She came up to me at the signing, and I'm glad she did. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much, Murees!

Christine Rains said...

Fantastic at squashing your fears! That event looks like it was so much fun. I'm terrified of seeing myself on video too. People just want to see my kid and my cat, right?!

Chrys Fey said...

I wish I could do videos of my cats, but as soon as I try they stop doing what they were doing. lol

emaginette said...

I'm glad the the quitting didn't stick. I'd miss you very much. :-)

Anna from elements of emaginette

Anonymous said...

I can't remember where it was, but I saw pics of your table and it looked so cute! If I had been able to attend, it would have caught my attention and brought me over.

Jennifer Hawes said...

Looks like loads of fun! Glad you didn't quit. Often times, we are so close to winning!!

sage said...

We'll all have to check out your reading... I have never liked my voice in recordings, even though I've been doing this for decades.

Chrys Fey said...

Aw. Thanks! I'd miss you, too. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Probably on Facebook or Instagram. Thanks!

Chrys Fey said...

That's very true.

Chrys Fey said...

I don't like my voice either. It makes me cringe. lol

Rachna Chhabria said...

Glad you didn't quit Chrys. I too often decide to quit but eventually I get back to my writing, because like you said, its in our blood, its our passion.

M.J. Fifield said...

Love that you're doing YouTube. I'm considering it, but I hate how I look and sound on video, so I probably will never be able to do that. Besides, I've been cringing and hiding for days just knowing that there are pictures of me on the Internet.

Hope you had a great time...the sign-up for next year's event starts next month, I hear. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Exactly. Hopefully none of us ever quit.

Chrys Fey said...

Haha. I don't like to see pictures of myself, which mostly has to do with my insecurities with my back, but...*shrugs*...I guess we can't help it.

I will be signing up! Whether I'll have the money right then for a partial payment is the question. :P

Meka James said...

Way to conquer your fears! I couldn't do the video thing either. The idea of speaking in public terrifies me and that carries over to any sort of video chat thing. I did one a few years back and was nervous the whole time.

Looks like you had a lot of fun at the signing.

Stephsco said...

You're doing all kinds of cool stuff! Way to go on squashing those insecurities! I also don't like myself on video but I'm trying to get over that. :) I'd really like to teach a webinar and well, it's video!

Here's my IWSG post for June: How to Survive the 'Little Quits.'

Chrys Fey said...

Webinars would be something awesome to do.

Chrys Fey said...

I will be doing a video interview soon. Eek!

Suzanne Furness said...

Sounds like you've been meeting some insecurities head on! Well done, Chrys that's brilliant. Glad you're not going to quit either.

Sharon Himsl said...

You went out and conquered your fear. Wow, bsolutely fabulous!! Loved your display and all you learned. A good lesson for me too. Haven't done this yet and I'm nervous. Your video is wonderful too. Huge Congrats!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Chrys - these are all great - so well done on the video - loved it and it'll get easier ... and you've set the channel up - excellent news. Clever and so good to see you and MJ together ... the conference looks amazing ... so pleased to read this - cheers Hilary

cleemckenzie said...

Isn't it interesting to look back at that mountain and say, "That wasn't so hard." Good for you.

Diana Wilder said...

Wow! I want to go to a book event! (As a visitor/customer). Nice voice!

Sandra Hoover said...

Happy to see you conquering your insecurities - taking them on one by one! Way to go! Love your book event pix. Thanks for sharing.

J.H. Moncrieff said...

Oh, congratulations! And good for you for reading your stuff on video. I hate video too, but was recently on a video podcast, so I had no choice. Why are we always so critical of ourselves?

I would have loved to be at that signing, met you, and snagged your autograph!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Yay, you!!! You cut down those insecurities like a woodsman taking out a sapling with an 18" chain saw. Great job! No forest is too big for you now. (Even if you DO look younger than my granddaughters...)

Michelle Athy said...

Hey! You conquered your nervousness and your fears and you got out there. Congrats!

Cathrina Constantine said...

Awesome job, well done!!! I don't think I could've done it.

Loni Townsend said...

Fun video, Chrys! Glad you conquered your insecurities and made it!

Chrys Fey said...

I think that's what we have to do...face insecurities head on.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Sharon! Your first book event is a great learning experience.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you! I'm glad you liked the video. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Yes! And it wasn't so bad! :D

Chrys Fey said...

You like my voice? Yay!!! Hahaha

Chrys Fey said...

Thanks, Sandra! I had to share pictures...proof. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

I'm going to be doing a live interview and radio show, so I have to prepare myself. :) Thank you! I would've loved to meet you.

Chrys Fey said...

I love your metaphor. LOL! I don't like to reveal my age, but I do look 10 years younger than I am.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you!

Chrys Fey said...

I never thought I could until I set my sights on it.

Chrys Fey said...

I will continue to work on these insecurities, but they are getting easier.

Ryan Carty said...

Way to go! I've never liked watching myself on video, which means all I can think about while making said video is how terrible I'm going to look and sound. That you were able to tackle that is pretty impressive. The book signing looked really fun. I hope it was as awesome as it looked.

Birgit said...

I just give you a big hug of congratulations! This is for the event where you were able to mingle and speak with fellow authors as well as over-riding your insecurity and not quitting. I truly commend your efforts and you did sound great despite the oopsies. Your mom looks cute and she must be proud

Liz A. said...

What a great event. Looks like you met a bunch of great people.

Rebecca M. Douglass said...

Way to tackle the really scary stuff! I'm not afraid of in-person appearances, but I'm like you--scared stiff of the idea of video. Thanks for sharing the tips about doing the convention, too. I agree--spend a little money and have cool stuff to give away. All imprinted with your book info, of course :)
—Rebecca
My IWSG Post

Shannon Lawrence said...

It looks like we may use the same pen at signings! :D Whoops, spoiler alert, LOL. Love the video. I've been wondering whether I should do videos, but ugh. I actually like being a panelist more than I like signings. I feel like I'm more in control of speaking vs. sitting there and hoping someone, anyone, stops to buy a book.

Chrys Fey said...

The book event was awesome. I had a blast as a reader and author.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you so much, Birgit! Next year, my mom plans to be a featured author.

Chrys Fey said...

I did, indeed. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Of course. Your book info on the things you give away is a must. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Talking about my book was easier on the panel than at the signing.

sage said...

You have a very pleasing voice--I just listened to your reading!

Juneta key said...

Congratulations, that looks like an awesome signing event. Love your video and shared it. Well you look like a successful author therefore you are. It walks and talks like a duck. It must be a duck. The video really were great and you are inspiring. You help me keep on plugging just being who you are. YOU GO!
Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

Sarah Foster said...

Glad you had a good time at the book signing! That's really awesome.
I liked your video! I laughed at the spoiler part. Doing a video (or an event, actually) kinda terrifies me, not gonna lie.

Tyrean Martinson said...

Congratulations on the video and the book signing! I know what you mean by "acting" in videos. I'm myself, but yet, I'm trying to be an authorly self, which is different from my every day self. It's odd (for me, at least).

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you for your comment, Juneta! This is why I do what I do. ❤

Chrys Fey said...

I'm glad you laughed. I was laughing at myself. And laughed even harder when I watched it.

Chrys Fey said...

That's exactly what I mean. I'm glad you got it. It is odd, indeed.

Olga Godim said...

Marvelous video! And a great book-signing event. Congrats!

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you! :)

Sandra Cox said...

You've been doing all sorts of exciting things!
The conference sounded like a lot of fun:)

Lisa Thomson said...

Chrys, you're so inspiring. Admitting your insecurities and then conquering them the way you have---is amazing! The video is very well done and I enjoyed seeing your instagram photos of your book signing event. A great success and an inpsiration to all of us writers.

Gwen Gardner said...

Good job! I think you're very brave. Putting yourself out there is hard and you did it. Yay you!

Cherie Colyer said...

Congrats on overcoming your insecurities. You did a great job on your video. :)

Natalie Aguirre said...

So awesome how you did some things that you were afraid to do. I would feel nervous doing them too. I've been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone too. It's a confidence booster.

Chrys Fey said...

Yes, I am. I'm having fun. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Lisa! I'm glad you enjoyed the pictures and the video. I did the video with my laptop camera,but now I have a webcam and hope to be able to do more, better videos.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you! I plan to put myself out there even more. :)

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you!

Chrys Fey said...

Pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones is a must. We should do it more often. :)

Chemist Ken said...

Well you certainly met a lot of people at the conference. Pushing yourself in uncomfortable directions is definitely the way to go. Great job!

Chrys Fey said...

I sure did! There were over 50 featured authors. :D

Denise Covey said...

How exciting to be conquering your fears Chrys. Wow, I'd hate to do a youtube vid, but that's where it's at for a lot of people. Good for you. And book signing. Wow. I takes me 'at off to you. I hope it all results in a sales spike!

Raimey Gallant said...

You have a pleasant, lovely voice, Chrys. I used to be an actor, and I still have nerve issues. I like that you're natural, laugh occasionally (a-holes, ha!). It's good stuff!

Deniz Bevan said...

Wow, I'd be insecure about those things too -- congratulations on getting them done and done so well!!

nashvillecats2 said...

You certainly have had a great time, It's always good to meet a follower, I met Arlee Bird a few years ago whilst I was in LA.
Had a great time and he is such a lovely person.
Loved the post.
Yvonne.

Yvonne Ventresca said...

Congrats on the signing! I don't like video either -- it's my least favorite format. I admire your bravery in recording and posting the reading! :)

Diane Burton said...

Chrys, your reading was delightful. You are just like a pictured, enthusiastic, fun. You picked a great scene from that book. Scary. Congrats on stomping on your insecurities and doing what's difficult.

Chrys Fey said...

I haven't checked my sales, but my fingers are crossed.

Chrys Fey said...

LOL! I didn't want to curse. Although I wrote it. :P

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you!

Chrys Fey said...

It would be something to meet Arlee.

Chrys Fey said...

Thanks. I'm going to try to make videos my new favorite format. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

It was the only scene that made sense to do, to hopefully hook readers. ;)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Good for you Chrys! It's so nice to see people overcome their insecurities and come out a winner. IT is DIFFICULT... putting yourself out their in the public eye. You did do well! Pat yourself on the back and keep smiling.....

Yolanda Renée said...

Congratulations! That's fantastic, you are working hard to overcome those insecurities! Your video was great! Keep it up! Putting yourself out there is the way to sell those books!

Patsy said...

Well done for facing up to your insecurities - and smashing them!

Chrys Fey said...

Very difficult. Especially for introverts. Thanks, Michael!

Chrys Fey said...

I've been making more videos. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Patsy!

Misha Gerrick said...

I love how you're fighting your insecurities by facing up to them. You go, lady! ;-)

Chrys Fey said...

It's the best way to beat insecurities. :)

Elizabeth said...

I'm with you, I may stop for a while, but I could never completely quit writing. Although, you are a lot braver than I am recording a video of yourself. Being an actor is a good idea should I ever have to face that scenario.

Nicki Elson said...

That author event looks like a blast!

Congrats to you on conquering your fears - and successfully, too. You look like a pro doing the reading. Nice lei!

Chrys Fey said...

When I was little, I had wanted to act or do plays. :)

Chrys Fey said...

A pro? Wow. Thanks!

Elizabeth said...

Me too! I was in the Drama Club in elementary school :)

Neurotic Workaholic said...

Congratulations on the book signing; sounds like it was a lot of fun! And I agree that reading your writing can boost your confidence; I felt that way after I read my work out loud at that open mic night that one time. I'd like to do that again, but I admit feeling insecure and that I might not get as good of a response the next time. But I still want to do it. :)

Chrys Fey said...

I was never in Drama. I was too insecure. :P

Chrys Fey said...

An open mic night is a great idea!

Magic Love Crow said...

I'm proud of you too! Good for you, doing a video! I'm still too chicken! LOL! Congrats on the book signing as well!!

Carrie-Anne said...

What an awesome event! I think every writer wishes s/he could have such a wonderful, successful event. Doing something like that really helps one to build confidence.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you! I'm not as chicken as I was just a month ago. :D

Chrys Fey said...

I was never able to go to a book event, but once I found once close enough and I finally got the money, I jumped on it. And it was pretty awesome. :)

Yanting Gueh said...

Well done, Chrys! I adore how you're squashing insecurities. That's a beautiful badass attitude. (And your mom is so lovely for being at the event. What wonderful support!)

J.H. Moncrieff said...

Some day we will meet!

Chrys Fey said...

And that day would be awesome. :D

Chrys Fey said...

Badass attitude. Yes. Finally! LOL

Aw. Thank you! I'll pass that on to her. :)