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February 17, 2016

E – My Editing (Typo) Goofs





I love going over my first draft and seeing the silly typos that occurred while writing. Then there’s the goofs I spot after the first round of edits that somehow slipped past me. I’m sharing the best ones from Seismic Crimes.


Here they are:

Goof #1: A moment later, she heard the door bang sh*t.

(Umm…I meant to say “shut.” LOL!)

Goof #2: The last time he stepped inside, he came fact to fact with a crooked cop who hit him over the head and held him beneath the water.

(Fact to Fact? I type too fast for my own good.)

Goof #3: Not the brain hair matted with blood.

(I didn’t know there was such a thing as “brain hair.” Must be a new shade of brown.)

Goof #4: Beth was sorry they didn’t have longer to get to know each other beyond the introductions at the airport, the fried at Ryan’s funeral, and the silence during dinner.

("The fried?" I almost don’t know what I meant there. I’ll change that to “tears.”)

Goof #5: Beth and Donovan had a simple Thanksgiving dinner with two Cornish hens, a box of turkey dressing, a can of cranberry sauce, instant potatoes with a blog of garlic butter to make up for the bland taste, and a couple of beers.

(A blog of garlic butter? Would that be with Blogger or Wordpress?)

Goof #6: …causing Beth to stumble on the points of her five-inch feels.

(I didn’t know feelings could be five inches long.)

Goof #7: Women were running in their business suits, their shoes in their hands, their rude stockings ripped up to their knees and spotted with blood.

(I had no idea stockings could be rude.)

Goof #8: He rotated in place, searching for the fire chief. When he found him, standing near the building, talking into a radio, he limped over, couching as he went.

(Couching should be coughing….)

Goof #9: The ground shook beneath the coy Beth was sleeping on, prying her awake.

(Can a cot be coy? I don’t think so.)

Goof #10Before they left, Beth ordered Donovan a roast beer sub on Italian bread to go.

(I’m sure a lot of guys would like a beer sub, but I meant beef.)

Goof #11: He limped toward her like a robot with a bed leg and every joint in need of oil.

(I didn’t know robots had bed legs. Let’s switch that “e” for an “a”, shall we?)

Goof #12: I’m going to put my gin down, but I’ve killed men twice your size with my bare hands, so don’t think I won’t do the same to you.

(A gin-drinking criminal? Nope. That’s supposed to be “gun.”)


QUESTION: What’s the silliest typo you've found?


68 comments:

Sarah Foster said...

Haha! Those were great! I was laughing the whole time. It's funny when a typo is so bad you don't even know what it was supposed to be. Now I feel like I should keep track of my typos before I fix them.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Blog of garlic butter sounds yummy. LOL. I hand write everything first but I still make mistakes like that.

Annalisa Crawford said...

Brilliant. Mine are never so funny, although I have a couple where I have no idea what I meant to say.

"Fact to fact" sounds like a stand-off between academics!

Roland Clarke said...

These made me laugh, especially as I'm sure I write similar. Sometimes I get so distracted as I type something that is totally irrelevant... but spelled correctly. Maybe its the 'brain hair'.

Denise said...

My Kindle will substitute a word for what I typed that makes absolutely no sense at all. Unfortunately, I do not always catch it before I hit 'send'. As for goof #5, I doubt they had dinner 'with' two cornish hens but rather 'partook' of two cornish hens. Hate to think my MBA dollars went to waste, lol.

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Hilarious! My favorite was "brain hair" but "fried" was funny, too.

nashvillecats2 said...

Having just sent my manuscript for my fourth book to the publishers I am awaiting the editing proceedure, I wait with bated breath.
Loved your post, great to read.
Yvonne.

Beverly Stowe McClure said...

These are priceless. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh. Guess I'd best check over my story and see my typos.

betty said...

Oh these were so funny! I can't remember a typo that was funny, but in my voice recognition software for work, what the software thinks the doctor is saying can be hilarious at times. I've collected some of them and might use them as a blog post down the line.

betty

Pat Hatt said...

lol we sure all do it. I know I've had many but never saved them, just gave a wtf was I thinking look and fixed them haha

Julie Flanders said...

LOL these are great. And really stockings are so uncomfortable that rude kind of fits for them! I also think I'm going to put my gin down before I kill you could be a great line LOL.

diedre Knight said...

Too funny! Great beginning to my day and proof that this happens to the best of us;-) Stranger still is how many reviews it takes to catch it sometimes.I overlooked this an embarrassing amount of times "She took a log swig and hastily crapped the top at the sound of footprints" Sheesh, even my editing app seemed to think it was ofay! (Had to leave that typo, just because) Happy day, Lady Chrys:-)

Chrys Fey said...

Glad I made you laugh. It's so funny to spot such outlandish typos that I wonder what my fingers were thinking.

Chrys Fey said...

I hand write a lot but still most is done on the computer first. There's no escaping typos.

Chrys Fey said...

An academic stand-off. Kids would love that. lol

Chrys Fey said...

It could very well be the "brain hair." :p

Chrys Fey said...

I hate autocorrect. As for #5 these are all examples from before they were edited. :)

Chrys Fey said...

I just don't understand where "fried" came from. lol

Chrys Fey said...

Good luck, Yvonne! Hopefully they don't find silly typos like these. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

I'm glad you enjoyed my typos, Beverly. :)

Anonymous said...

You've inspired me. I need to start a list of ridiculous typos I make and share them. I know I've had some silly ones and it's always funny to look back and go o.O?

Chrys Fey said...

I would love to see that blog post. I can only imagine what voice recognition software would think a doctor is saying. :p

Chrys Fey said...

When I saw the first funny typo, I saved it because I just knew there would be more...and I was right. lol

Chrys Fey said...

You're right. Stockings can be rather rude. The "gin" one is my favorite. :p

Elizabeth Seckman said...

I once got a beta response back that simply said, "Were you drinking?" I'm really prolific with my typos.

Chrys Fey said...

It certainly does. No one is immune to typos. Sometimes, we know what it's supposed to say so even if it's spelled wrong, we read it correctly. "Log swig" that sounds yucky and like it may hurt going down. LOL! "Crapped the top" Oh, gosh. Dieing of laughter!

Chrys Fey said...

I'd love to see your silly typos!

Chrys Fey said...

Hahaha! Typos are just so funny and random.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I laughed out loud at some of those.

Tara Tyler said...

those were so fun!
and i loved your anti/valentine post with Ena - how opposite you two are!
happy hump day!

Crystal Collier said...

LOL! I do that too--get typing too fast. My family will attest to hearing me burst out laughing while editing. (Brain hair... That's classic.)

Loni Townsend said...

Heh. None of mine turn out that funny. I was entertained by yours.

Chrys Fey said...

Thank you, Tara! Ena says "Hi!" :D

Chrys Fey said...

I laugh out loud while reading my first draft too. :p

Chrys Fey said...

Yay! I found some funny ones in the next book that I'm currently editing. I'll share those later. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Awesome!

Liz A. said...

Good ones. I don't remember my typos. I fix them when I catch them. It's the typos that I find in finished novels that I'm reading for pleasure that worry me.

Denise Covey said...

As long as you catch those bloopers. The first draft is meant to be written fast, so natch there's a lot of funny little critters to eke out. That's fun to me. But like Liz A above, I hate seeing typos in published manuscripts...rarely do you find an unblemished full novel these days which is a bit urk!

Chrys Fey said...

That worries me too. I sure hope there aren't and never will be typos in my published books.

Chrys Fey said...

Exactly! I've been reading stories by one author that has had a lot of errors, which is surprising since she's a best-seller!

Lisa Thomson said...

What a fun share, Chrys! "5 inch feels". My favorite. Sometimes I make up new words that I like better than the real ones. Typos are a great creative starting point.

Chrys Fey said...

I never looked at typos like that. Brilliant!

Janie Junebug said...

I don't know the silliest typo I've found, but when I was a reporter, I started making a particular error. I've never been able to shake it. My fingers force me to do it. Every time I type the name "Chris," it turns into "Christ."

Love,
Janie

Chrys Fey said...

I wonder if you typed "Chrys" if it would come out as "Chryst." LOL

J.H. Moncrieff said...

Typos are always fun, aren't they? At least these ones are humorous!

Shannon Lawrence said...

I like the idea of keeping track of the goofy typos. Also, I think five-inch feels could be a thing. ;) "How are you doing?" "Oh man, I've got five-inch feels."

Mary Kirkland said...

I seem to make the same typos over and over again. I type...'make'...'amke' all the time. I'm forever changing my spelling.

Nicola said...

I bet you had a good ole laugh during your editing. What fun. As long as you catch them all before print :) Have a great week and thanks for sharing. I had a good giggle.

Christine Rains said...

Hehehe! I sometimes get bed leg and have trouble walking in the mornings. :) I once had a word that was supposed to be fact as fart!

Anonymous said...

Rude stockings, hahaha .. man, I don't even want to go into some of my older, unedited things. There's probably so much of this stuff haha

Chrys Fey said...

The humorous ones are the best. Almost forgivable. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

LOL! I think I should create a character who says that now. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Your fingers are just too fast. :)

Chrys Fey said...

I sure did! And I did catch them all before print. I think... :p

Chrys Fey said...

See? Another one that could be used intentionally. I need to use that one too!...Fact to fart...I can see that happening. :p

Chrys Fey said...

But it's fun to find them. You'll have a good laugh. :)

sage said...

Roast beer sub--that's a Freudian slip, you were crazing a frosty mug of beer as you were writing, right? :) (I do seem to remember you saying you don't drink)

Carrie-Anne said...

Autocorrect is a dangerous thing, though sometimes our own typos are just as bad. I worked as a newspaper proofreader for almost five years, and it was always very embarrassing to discover a typo had made it into print. Even more embarrassing was when a typo was belatedly discovered in a headline.

Sometimes I make a typo when I'm tired or in a hurry, and then discover it when I'm going over that section later. Most recently, I wrote shank instead of shard, when properly creating the scene where my dear little mouse character Nessa is introduced. Nessa is being fed a carrot shard, not a shank!

Yanting Gueh said...

My God, these are funny, and I must have typed 'fried' plenty of times when I meant 'friend,' too. You know, a roast beer sub sounds like an ideal dude food.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Chrys - they were fun to see .. the blog with garlic butter sounds a good choice!! I constantly muddle up 'and' adn 'the' as teh ... such a pain .. or as that was poin ..

Cheers Hilary

Chrys Fey said...

But I don't like beer. LOL! You remember correctly. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

Yup, and these were my own typos. LOL! Oh, a typo in a headline would be embarrassing.

Typos happen when I type too fast.

A carrot shank. Haha. With my luck it would've been shark. :p

Chrys Fey said...

Oh, yes, I've done that typo many times too. It's a classic. ;)

Chrys Fey said...

I've done those as well, but not "pain" to "poin."

Jeffrey Scott said...

Those are some funny typos. I don't know about the beer sub. Oh sure, I'll have a beer with my sub, but not so sure about a beer sub.

Chrys Fey said...

Maybe it's a sub made out of beer bread...?

Jeffrey Scott said...

Now I'm listening.

Chrys Fey said...

I thought that would get your attention. ;)