I love going over my first draft and seeing the silly
typos that occurred while writing. Then there’s the goofs I spot
after the first round of edits that somehow slipped past me. I’m sharing the
best ones from Seismic Crimes.
Here they are:
Goof #1: A moment later, she heard the door bang sh*t.
(Umm…I meant to say “shut.” LOL!)
Goof #2: The last time he stepped inside, he came fact
to fact with a crooked cop who hit him over the head and held him beneath
the water.
(Fact to Fact? I type too fast for my own good.)
Goof #3: Not the brain hair matted with
blood.
(I didn’t know there was such a thing as “brain hair.”
Must be a new shade of brown.)
Goof #4: Beth was sorry they didn’t have longer to
get to know each other beyond the introductions at the airport, the fried
at Ryan’s funeral, and the silence during dinner.
("The fried?" I almost don’t know what I meant there. I’ll
change that to “tears.”)
Goof #5: Beth and Donovan had a simple Thanksgiving
dinner with two Cornish hens, a box of turkey dressing, a can of cranberry
sauce, instant potatoes with a blog of garlic butter to make up for
the bland taste, and a couple of beers.
(A blog of garlic butter? Would that be with Blogger or Wordpress?)
Goof #6: …causing Beth to stumble on the points of
her five-inch feels.
(I didn’t know feelings could be five inches long.)
Goof #7: Women were running in their business suits,
their shoes in their hands, their rude stockings ripped up to their
knees and spotted with blood.
(I had no idea stockings could be rude.)
Goof #8: He rotated in place, searching for the fire chief. When he found him, standing near the building, talking into a radio, he
limped over, couching as he went.
(Couching should be coughing….)
Goof #9: The ground shook beneath the coy Beth
was sleeping on, prying her awake.
(Can a cot be coy? I don’t think so.)
Goof #10: Before they left, Beth ordered Donovan a
roast beer sub on Italian bread to go.
(I’m sure a lot of guys would like a beer sub, but I
meant beef.)
Goof #11: He limped toward her like a robot with
a bed leg and every joint in need of oil.
(I didn’t know robots had bed legs. Let’s switch that “e”
for an “a”, shall we?)
Goof #12: I’m going to put my gin down, but
I’ve killed men twice your size with my bare hands, so don’t think I won’t do
the same to you.
(A gin-drinking criminal? Nope. That’s supposed to be
“gun.”)
QUESTION: What’s the silliest typo you've found?
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Haha! Those were great! I was laughing the whole time. It's funny when a typo is so bad you don't even know what it was supposed to be. Now I feel like I should keep track of my typos before I fix them.
ReplyDeleteGlad I made you laugh. It's so funny to spot such outlandish typos that I wonder what my fingers were thinking.
DeleteBlog of garlic butter sounds yummy. LOL. I hand write everything first but I still make mistakes like that.
ReplyDeleteI hand write a lot but still most is done on the computer first. There's no escaping typos.
DeleteBrilliant. Mine are never so funny, although I have a couple where I have no idea what I meant to say.
ReplyDelete"Fact to fact" sounds like a stand-off between academics!
An academic stand-off. Kids would love that. lol
DeleteThese made me laugh, especially as I'm sure I write similar. Sometimes I get so distracted as I type something that is totally irrelevant... but spelled correctly. Maybe its the 'brain hair'.
ReplyDeleteIt could very well be the "brain hair." :p
DeleteMy Kindle will substitute a word for what I typed that makes absolutely no sense at all. Unfortunately, I do not always catch it before I hit 'send'. As for goof #5, I doubt they had dinner 'with' two cornish hens but rather 'partook' of two cornish hens. Hate to think my MBA dollars went to waste, lol.
ReplyDeleteI hate autocorrect. As for #5 these are all examples from before they were edited. :)
DeleteHilarious! My favorite was "brain hair" but "fried" was funny, too.
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand where "fried" came from. lol
DeleteHaving just sent my manuscript for my fourth book to the publishers I am awaiting the editing proceedure, I wait with bated breath.
ReplyDeleteLoved your post, great to read.
Yvonne.
Good luck, Yvonne! Hopefully they don't find silly typos like these. ;)
DeleteThese are priceless. Thanks for starting my day with a laugh. Guess I'd best check over my story and see my typos.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed my typos, Beverly. :)
DeleteOh these were so funny! I can't remember a typo that was funny, but in my voice recognition software for work, what the software thinks the doctor is saying can be hilarious at times. I've collected some of them and might use them as a blog post down the line.
ReplyDeletebetty
I would love to see that blog post. I can only imagine what voice recognition software would think a doctor is saying. :p
Deletelol we sure all do it. I know I've had many but never saved them, just gave a wtf was I thinking look and fixed them haha
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the first funny typo, I saved it because I just knew there would be more...and I was right. lol
DeleteLOL these are great. And really stockings are so uncomfortable that rude kind of fits for them! I also think I'm going to put my gin down before I kill you could be a great line LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Stockings can be rather rude. The "gin" one is my favorite. :p
DeleteToo funny! Great beginning to my day and proof that this happens to the best of us;-) Stranger still is how many reviews it takes to catch it sometimes.I overlooked this an embarrassing amount of times "She took a log swig and hastily crapped the top at the sound of footprints" Sheesh, even my editing app seemed to think it was ofay! (Had to leave that typo, just because) Happy day, Lady Chrys:-)
ReplyDeleteIt certainly does. No one is immune to typos. Sometimes, we know what it's supposed to say so even if it's spelled wrong, we read it correctly. "Log swig" that sounds yucky and like it may hurt going down. LOL! "Crapped the top" Oh, gosh. Dieing of laughter!
DeleteYou've inspired me. I need to start a list of ridiculous typos I make and share them. I know I've had some silly ones and it's always funny to look back and go o.O?
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see your silly typos!
DeleteI once got a beta response back that simply said, "Were you drinking?" I'm really prolific with my typos.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Typos are just so funny and random.
DeleteI laughed out loud at some of those.
ReplyDeleteAwesome!
Deletethose were so fun!
ReplyDeleteand i loved your anti/valentine post with Ena - how opposite you two are!
happy hump day!
Thank you, Tara! Ena says "Hi!" :D
DeleteLOL! I do that too--get typing too fast. My family will attest to hearing me burst out laughing while editing. (Brain hair... That's classic.)
ReplyDeleteI laugh out loud while reading my first draft too. :p
DeleteHeh. None of mine turn out that funny. I was entertained by yours.
ReplyDeleteYay! I found some funny ones in the next book that I'm currently editing. I'll share those later. ;)
DeleteGood ones. I don't remember my typos. I fix them when I catch them. It's the typos that I find in finished novels that I'm reading for pleasure that worry me.
ReplyDeleteThat worries me too. I sure hope there aren't and never will be typos in my published books.
DeleteAs long as you catch those bloopers. The first draft is meant to be written fast, so natch there's a lot of funny little critters to eke out. That's fun to me. But like Liz A above, I hate seeing typos in published manuscripts...rarely do you find an unblemished full novel these days which is a bit urk!
ReplyDeleteExactly! I've been reading stories by one author that has had a lot of errors, which is surprising since she's a best-seller!
DeleteWhat a fun share, Chrys! "5 inch feels". My favorite. Sometimes I make up new words that I like better than the real ones. Typos are a great creative starting point.
ReplyDeleteI never looked at typos like that. Brilliant!
DeleteI don't know the silliest typo I've found, but when I was a reporter, I started making a particular error. I've never been able to shake it. My fingers force me to do it. Every time I type the name "Chris," it turns into "Christ."
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I wonder if you typed "Chrys" if it would come out as "Chryst." LOL
DeleteTypos are always fun, aren't they? At least these ones are humorous!
ReplyDeleteThe humorous ones are the best. Almost forgivable. ;)
DeleteI like the idea of keeping track of the goofy typos. Also, I think five-inch feels could be a thing. ;) "How are you doing?" "Oh man, I've got five-inch feels."
ReplyDeleteLOL! I think I should create a character who says that now. ;)
DeleteI seem to make the same typos over and over again. I type...'make'...'amke' all the time. I'm forever changing my spelling.
ReplyDeleteYour fingers are just too fast. :)
DeleteI bet you had a good ole laugh during your editing. What fun. As long as you catch them all before print :) Have a great week and thanks for sharing. I had a good giggle.
ReplyDeleteI sure did! And I did catch them all before print. I think... :p
DeleteHehehe! I sometimes get bed leg and have trouble walking in the mornings. :) I once had a word that was supposed to be fact as fart!
ReplyDeleteSee? Another one that could be used intentionally. I need to use that one too!...Fact to fart...I can see that happening. :p
DeleteRude stockings, hahaha .. man, I don't even want to go into some of my older, unedited things. There's probably so much of this stuff haha
ReplyDeleteBut it's fun to find them. You'll have a good laugh. :)
DeleteRoast beer sub--that's a Freudian slip, you were crazing a frosty mug of beer as you were writing, right? :) (I do seem to remember you saying you don't drink)
ReplyDeleteBut I don't like beer. LOL! You remember correctly. ;)
DeleteAutocorrect is a dangerous thing, though sometimes our own typos are just as bad. I worked as a newspaper proofreader for almost five years, and it was always very embarrassing to discover a typo had made it into print. Even more embarrassing was when a typo was belatedly discovered in a headline.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I make a typo when I'm tired or in a hurry, and then discover it when I'm going over that section later. Most recently, I wrote shank instead of shard, when properly creating the scene where my dear little mouse character Nessa is introduced. Nessa is being fed a carrot shard, not a shank!
Yup, and these were my own typos. LOL! Oh, a typo in a headline would be embarrassing.
DeleteTypos happen when I type too fast.
A carrot shank. Haha. With my luck it would've been shark. :p
My God, these are funny, and I must have typed 'fried' plenty of times when I meant 'friend,' too. You know, a roast beer sub sounds like an ideal dude food.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, I've done that typo many times too. It's a classic. ;)
DeleteHi Chrys - they were fun to see .. the blog with garlic butter sounds a good choice!! I constantly muddle up 'and' adn 'the' as teh ... such a pain .. or as that was poin ..
ReplyDeleteCheers Hilary
I've done those as well, but not "pain" to "poin."
DeleteThose are some funny typos. I don't know about the beer sub. Oh sure, I'll have a beer with my sub, but not so sure about a beer sub.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a sub made out of beer bread...?
DeleteNow I'm listening.
DeleteI thought that would get your attention. ;)
Delete