When I was editing Hurricane Crimes, I cut out the scenes from Donovan's point-of-view. Why? Because there weren't enough scenes from his point-of-view and I liked the idea of him being more mysterious. Let's just say I wanted to keep my readers in the dark when it came to Donovan Goldwyn. *wink* But there was one scene I hated eliminating, so I want to share it now.
This scene starts up immediately after Donovan goes into his brother's house alone.
NOTE: This isn't an edited version.
SPOILER ALERT!
Donovan’s eyes immediately went to the spot where he had seen his brother’s dead body. Two feet of water drowned the inside of the house, but his brother’s body was no longer there. He took a couple of sloshing steps into the living room.
“Coming back to the scene of the
crime? Do you think that’s wise, Goldwyn?
He went still as one of the officers
who murdered his brother emerged from behind a wall. His hands became fists.
“What did you do with my brother?”
“Buck and I threw him out like the
trash he was.”
“You son-of-a-bitch!” He lunged. His
fists cracked into Chewy’s face one at a time. He felt Chewy’s nose snap
beneath his knuckles and it felt good!
With
blood drizzling from his nostrils, Chewy retaliated against Donovan by tackling
him into the big screen television, and pummeling him with his fat hands. His
breath dislodged from his lungs when one of Chewy’s fists collided into his gut
and the other connected with the side of his rib cage.
Blow
after blow kept oxygen from his lungs and rattled his ribs. He did the one
thing he knew could cripple any man during a fight; he thrust his knee into
Chewy’s family jewels.
Chewy’s
beer-soaked breath blew out of his mouth in a gust, his enraged eyes widened,
and he toppled to his knees with his hands cupping his manhood.
Donovan
doubled over too. He was breathless, his intestines burned, and his ribs
creaked. He struggled to pull himself straight. When he did, he came level with
the gun Chewy pointed at his chest. Instinct kicked in, prompting him to grab
the lamp from the stand behind him and swinging it at Chewy’s outstretched arm.
The
gun went off and a bullet dived into the television just an inch past Donovan’s shoulder. A fraction
of a second later, the lamp flew into the wall, causing the delicate light bulb
to explode and the base to crack, splitting the lamp in half.
The
gun fell from Chewy’s hand and dived into the standing water. The two men
wrestled dangerously as they each tried to get to it first, but then Chewy
clobbered Donovan in the side of the head with a hefty fist.
Pain
was a firework show beneath his eyelids. Lenses of pitch-blackness capped his
vision as sparks of electricity exploded all over his skull. He crumpled to the
ground. Chewy jumped onto him and pinned his shoulders, keeping him beneath the
water. He lashed out with his arms, blindly attempting to hit Chewy. His legs
kicked furiously, creating a turbulent
sea above his head.
His
lungs were expanded and unmoving, holding hostage his collected breath. His brain
screamed for oxygen. He opened his mouth and screamed beneath the water.
QUESTION:
What did you think? :)
To find out what happens to Donovan (and Beth) you can read their short story. The ebook is $1.99 on Amazon.
