This series will contain posts styled as a memoir with memories that I feel like sharing. I first wrote these articles in 2017 when I was suffering from burnout. I may post one or two a month. I hope you enjoy these intimate glimpses into the life of...
Episode 8
Fake Friend
Before my brother and I became buddies, I had an imaginary friend. I don’t know why I created her or when. She was just there one day. I don’t even remember a beginning. But I can guess why I needed her. When I was born, my oldest sister was already six years old. My other sister and brother were about three years older. Older siblings usually don’t want to play with toddlers. I suspect this was the case for me, so when I was little, I invented a friend who would play with me.
Ena.
She had long lavender hair. Sometimes, I would put my baby blanket, a lavender knitted blanket that passed down to me when my siblings didn’t want it, over my head, tuck it around my hair, and walk around imitating Ena. My blanket would sway at my ankles, and according to me, this was exactly how Ena looked.
Sitting on my bed, I’d talk to Ena for hours. We’d color together, and whenever I walked through the house, she was there beside me, almost like a bodyguard.
My whole family knew about Ena and asked me about her. I loved having a friend no one else could have. She was all mine.
Then, one day, she was gone.
I didn’t even realize she was gone until someone asked me about her, having noticed I stopped mentioning her. Shortly after, as if summoned, Ena returned. Her pretty, long, lavender hair was gone, though. Now she had short black hair. Apparently, she went to Paris. I had no real idea about Paris, but that’s where she had gone away to. Maybe to be with another little girl who needed her on the other side of the world? I believe so. At that point, we said our goodbyes, without actually saying “goodbye,” and she went back to Paris. I never saw her again, but I never forgot her, my first true friend.
Imaginary friends are powerful beings. If your child has one, don’t laugh. And whatever you do, do NOT tell them they need to grow up or that their friend is fake. Because to your child, this imaginary friend is as real as breath, as real as they are, because this apparition comes from them, their mind, their creativity.
Imagination is not fake. It’s real. It’s the most real thing in this world. In fact, this imaginary friend is helping your child to grow up. So, let your child have this friend, because this friend, even if you can’t see him or her, is helping your son or daughter in a huge way. This friend is giving your child exactly what they need: companionship. They’re learning what it’s like to be social and grow a relationship. When it’s time, their imaginary friend will leave, but only when they are both ready to part. Don’t push it. Just watch and enjoy your child’s happiness.
I never had an imaginary friend, but I did talk a lot to my stuffies. Mostly, I always had my brothers, only 2 & 3 years older than me, so when we lived in remote places where I couldn’t have other friends, I did have companions. Sometimes they were a little hard on the tag-along little sister, but mostly we were a good trio.
ReplyDelete